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NYE or something equally unimportant. - SPACE plans... [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Uneasy Quiet

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NYE or something equally unimportant. [Dec. 30th, 2009|01:57 pm]
Uneasy Quiet

Color me unimpressed, 2009.

Assessing the year gone by during winter is likely a miserable idea, considering how tired i am of being alive by this point in the season.

I would wish for everyone that they start the year by kissing the one they love in a pure and hopeful expression of sticky sweet optimism... except that my year started that way. Maybe the difference is in whether or not the feeling is mutual... perhaps if i had been pouring all my heart into kissing someone that didn't already have his eye on someone else, things would have gone better.

though really, none of that has anything to do with anything according to my meticulously affected disbelief in anything beyond the purely coincidental.

I found love a million times this year before misplacing it again. Some relationships were strengthened, others jettisoned. The highs were high, and the lows were so low that there were times i couldn't tell the surface from the ocean floor. Nobody down here but me and the angler fish.

I crushed joy like a defenseless baby bird this year. Every time it flew in my window, i killed it trying to cage it. It died in captivity.

I look forward to the spring and summer, when happiness feels so abundant i can let it come and go as it pleases.

Until then, I'll keep my eyes wide open and my shotgun loaded.